I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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