is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
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Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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