batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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