I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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