Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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