well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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