it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like abortions should bother me more
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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