This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
