Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
