Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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