They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
