i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis