I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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