My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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