I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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