If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize