Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
