I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
