Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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