your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
