he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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