those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I intend to get homeless drunk
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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