Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This baby is an asshole
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
