FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
