So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
