The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
