It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
