it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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