I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
