I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
