I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
