Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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