I want to stick my p in your. b.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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