It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize