Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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