The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
