our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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