Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
