this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
