A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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