Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
