road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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