Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
