it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
