There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
