If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
