I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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