I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize