Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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