On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
