I feel like abortions should bother me more
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What a dumb baby whore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
