Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize