forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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