glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
