one two three fourrrrnication!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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