So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
