My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im six kinds of drunk right now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
