I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
