Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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