It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
