Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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