I'll bet she douches with gravy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
