garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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