i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
