he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
