Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
