at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
