We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
